January 2012
26 posts
you're my best friend.
you’re a “straight male.” yet just recently we’ve kissed, upon your initiation. we cuddle all the time. we find excuses to touch each other. when you’re lonely, you cuddle with me, and i with you. when you cry, you make your roommate come get me so i can hold you and no one has to see you cry. there was even a night that you had a meltdown, and i held you and kissed...
goddamn truth.
diagnonsense:
and no i don’t want sex
i actually don’t really like sex
i’d rather have someone to wrap my arms around
and fall asleep on
por favor
Fuck those "friends" who left you. Fuck that...
maybe it'd be nice to be invisible for a while.
i miss the feeling of running my fingers along someone’s skin. lightly scratching with my nails. little nibbles on someone’s collar bone. lying there silently rubbing legs and feet together. my fingers, like legs, running miles from their belly to their chest. feeling a bare chest against mine. not having to fill every silence with conversation, letting the silence speak for us....
i am going to start writing this idea i have in my head. for once, i’m going to push myself to finish something.
also,
i’m going on a hardcore diet. i’ve lost 20 pounds so far, but i want to be thin. not average. goal weight: 140 where i’m at now: 160. i can do this.
December 2011
15 posts
that awkward moment when a straight guy tells you “if i were into men i would be incredibly attracted to you. you have everything i look for in a woman.”
that other awkward moment when said straight guy says “well, i guess we’ll just have to cuddle with each other until we each find someone.”
it feels so good
knowing that i’m not alone in this. to know that people have my back and support me and realize that i’d done nothing to deserve this. to know that people who i assumed wouldn’t be on my side are, and that i really do have people to count on. you were just never one of them. and now the tables have turned, and that feels even better. to know that while i’m progressing,...
i want to just give up
and become a mermaid. i’d live my life under the sea and just lay with the waves.
in over a year? god. i hate it when you act like throughout our entire relationship, there wasn’t a moment where you were happy. i saw it in your eyes. i felt it in your touch. to say that you were never happy is a lie. and i hate that it’s all my fault. it’s not. you’ve as much blame to bare for what’s happened to us as i. if you were never happy, you wouldn’t...
i know the answers.
i am finally going to be okay knowing exactly what i deserve and accepting nothing less anymore. i don’t need anyone to tell me i’m special anymore. i’m finally starting to learn my lessons life has given me.
i can’t tell you why i cry. i can’t tell you why i’m sad anymore. there’s no rhyme or reason or anything to grasp as to why i am sad. i am sad because i am sad. i’m sad when i’m happy, i’m sad when i’m not. i am sad. no matter how much progress i make i find myself in the same spot eventually. and here i am.
and now what’s become of us? we...
we wouldn’t be here if i didn’t make the selfish decision to come here. this is my fault, and i don’t understand why you won’t let me come home and help. fuck. i can help if you’d let me, but you say “it’s not my problem to worry about.”
of course it’s my problem. i’m part of the family too, aren’t i? i could easily come back and...
November 2011
5 posts
i don’t deserve to be referred to as such.
i hate how religion can change someone for the...
something is still pushing me in this direction...
i can’t decipher the message behind this, but everything seems to align.
at least to me.
god damnit.
i want to reach out and talk to you but i don’t want to irritate or rush you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.
i’m fine without you, but i don’t want to be without you.
October 2011
119 posts
